Deflated

Working so many hours can become a huge drain. For me, I spend all day taking care of children and doing house chores, then I head out to do some rideshare work to make ends meet. It’s brutal 16/17 hour days that can make it hard to enjoy what little time that I have off. The constant exhaustion is running me flat.

That was the boat I was in tonight. An amazing day with my kids. They napped and I was able to mow the lawn, toss a load of dishes in the washer, and finish some laundry. I tidied up while we ate and got dinner ready for my wife for when she returned home. When she arrives home we swap for her to take over bedtime. I head out to to earn some money doing rideshare. The night is off to a good start even after the long day! That’s when you guessed it, flat tire.

The crazy thing is this is not the first flat I’ve had this week either. A nail punctured a separate tire earlier in the week preventing me from working that night. I need to work and this vehicle is the key for me to do it. For it to be taken down twice in one week is frustrating to say the least. It’s something that adds to the extra stresses of life and gives you endless head aches..

Spending so much energy these past few weeks to be a better me. To work out, to eat better, talk sweeter, be more organized. All this energy being consumed in the pursuit of being better. All of the stress and anxiety that comes with it, swelling until…

I’m as deflated as my tire.

With a tire they can swap it out. Change it, fill it, maybe even give it a patch temporarily. Patches aren’t permanent and are bound to break. Filling it with something will only keep it afloat for a moment, another temporary fix. The only solution is to change it. The only solution is change. It’s not just the tire that needs a change. I need to be that change.

People aren’t as easy as tires to change but maybe we are similar in that we need to come to a breaking point before we get the change we need. I wish there were a shop that you could head in to and get a quick change. There is no such thing as a jiffy lube of therapy though. Sadly. So we have to keep working at it. Even through multiple set backs, there is always a way through. We just need to find it. If you refuse to tell yourself, whatever you’re going through is impossible, you’re one step closer to getting back on the road. I’m going to keep going. I’ve got to. I hope you all can find the energy for the changes to push though these tired times.

K