New year, New Meh

I hope your December and holiday season were filled with joy, reflection, and maybe even a few moments of peace. As we step into 2025, we stare down the the quarter of this century ending. It’s hard to believe we’re already 25 years in. With that milestone, we have the opportunity to pause and evaluate the journey so far.

Let’s be honest: it’s not quite the future we once dreamed of. Where are the hoverboards? The moon shuttles? The utopias of innovation and ease? For many of us it feels like we’ve been riding a rollercoaster of all drops. If you’re in your 30’s like me I don’t have enough fingers to count the amount of once in a lifetime events that have taken place. The 21st century began with a sense of hope, but the ride has been bumpy, filled with moments of greatness, and of overwhelming tragedy

Still, as I take stock of my own life, I’m grateful. I Head in to 2025 off of a really low year. It’s not what I imagined it would be. But here I am, starting another chapter. I’ll even here the old refrain: New Year, New Me.

I have mixed feelings about that phrase. It’s a nice idea, but let’s face it, we don’t get to wipe the slate clean as the clock flips over to January 1st. Life doesn’t work that way. Instead, we carry ourselves, our joys, struggles, and yes, our baggage into every year. A rollover account you can’t opt out of. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Trying to be a better, newer version of yourself is admirable. We are who we are because of the foundation we carry over each year. We grow each year because we want to better. The process of bringing ourselves forward, scars and all, is what makes growth possible. Nurturing that with resolutions gives us the chance for that growth. In 2025 I don’t have several individual resolutions I have one: Be Better.

Not perfect. Not unrecognizable. Just better.

That means small, intentional steps. I’m never going to have a six pack of abs, but I can try and eat a little healthier. I’m not going to get father of the year, but I can try and reduce screen time. I wont always be the perfect husband, but I can carve out more dedicated time for my wife. I’m never going to feel 100% in my own skin, but I can do some therapy so I don’t hate the man in the mirror. I’m not going to finish my book, but I can work towards the final draft. Be better. Start establishing a set of practices so that I can be the best version of myself so far. Once I’ve laid a solid base, I will move on to improving each area more intently. each happening one little step at a time.

I faced some hard truths in 2024 particularly about my relationship with alcohol. I reached a point where I was unreliable and unsafe. I could have hurt someone, devastated my family, and left my sons without a father. Admitting that was hard. It’s been something I’ve fought for years and admitting it made it more real than it had ever felt before. The drinking broke my relationships and had my life in a near-breaking point. I was at rock bottom. I thought everything was lost and had several moments where I wanted to disappear.

But in that darkness, I realized two things: I was the problem, and I was the solution. I had caused the pain. I had ignored countless chances to make things right. Now it was my turn to try and heal the hurt, and to take advantage of the opportunity those who love me gave me.

Admitting I needed help was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For years, I thought asking for help made me weak. I told myself I had to handle everything on my own. But the truth? That mindset was holding me back. It’s not a weakness to ask for help, It’s a miracle to have people in your life who want to help you.

Maybe I need a second resolution this year, it’s this: Be honest with yourself, and when you’re struggling, seek help.

Healing is a process. My family is still healing, and so am I. Every day is a new opportunity, a chance to try again, to be a little better than the day before. I’m never going to be perfect. None of us are. But perfection isn’t the goal. Growth is. And for 2025, that’s enough.

Here’s to the new year. Let’s embrace the scrapes, the bruises, and the growing pains. Let’s take small steps toward being the best versions of ourselves. One day, one choice, one act of courage at a time.

Let’s be better.

One step at a time.

K